Thom Forbes

A-Rod had just walked and Hikeki Matsui was at the plate last week when I picked up the phone, figuring only the county coroner or the library overdue-book automaton would be calling at such a critical juncture in American history. Instead, a young man exuding all the exuberance of an effervescent denture cleaner was on the line trying to sell me a seat or two to three upcoming Roundabout Theatre productions. The first two dramas sounded impressive enough, the way he ptiched them, but then he said,  "And then we have 'Sondheim on Sonheim' with the incomparable — are you sitting down for this?"

"No I'm not sitting down." I said huffily. "I'm watching the Yankee game. Get on with it, lad."

"I know. A-Rod just walked," he said. "But let me tell you who's belting out the Sondheim tunes. It's the redoubtable, stupendous, in-com-par-i-ble Barbara Cooke..." The !!!!!!! at the end of his sentence raced so quickly over the Verizon Fios (not a sponsor ... yet ) line that it nearly bowled me over. Add to that the fact that my new-found pally was watching clearly a Yankee fan, or pretending to be, and I was sold.

"Put me down for twenty-seven," I said. "I'll treat the Cronies to a night at Studio 54! Make that twenty-eight. The Jay Man is sure to appear again ... sometime." I hung up, feeling that I was bubbling over with positive karma, and then POW! Godzilla, sent a Pedro mediocreball into the klieg lights.

Now, are YOU sitting down for THIS!!!!!!!? 

P. Wolf is. No scrounging around for the odd stool or ottoman for him this week. That's because he's cleared the decks of all preemptory engagements, right down to returning calls from the Friends of the New York State Troopers Benevolent Society, and will take his perch at the head of his very own poker table, which now is illuminated with the same light bulbs that light up Yankee Stadium, at 8:30 p.m. tt

Be there! I won't, as we celebrate anniversary No. 32 at Harvest on Hudson (not a sponsor ... yet).

As for the theater date, we need to clear a night when Bisbee, Xenakis, Lerner and Burgess are all available. I'll get back to you.