Thom Forbes

It seems like it was just yesterday that we played two contiguous games at Mike B's for lack of another venue so I asked him if he was "ready for more." Replies Mike: "This is America!!! More is always good!!!"

Which reminds me of a documentary I watched last night called "Bigger, Stronger, Faster" that just about comes to the same conclusion. (See trailer at bottom; the full movie is itself a free "Watch Instantly" download if you subscribe to Netflix. And last week's link to Lady Gaga is working, too.)

Which reminds me of Art's "dirty little secret."  The aforementioned eagle-eyed Mike B. was the first to observe, in fact, that Art's staying power in various games had increased by a factor of 0.5% (with a margin of error of +/- 1%). "One look at Art's chip pile the last few weeks and I knew something was going on," Mike B. revealed.  It turns out that Art has been using the ACE8 steroid to enhance his performance by lengthening his resolve to stay in games he used to find way too menacing.

"When I was a boy, I used to read a comic book called Fantastic Foursome, which was not about what you may think but rather followed the exploits of a group of aging gin rummy superplayers who cracked a lot of crappy jokes and only played a few hands a night," Art confided to this reporter.  "On the inside back cover, there was full page-ad featuring a guy named Myron Rabinowitz, aka "The Gin Rummy King of Totowa." He held a vial of this ACE8 stuff in one hand and a needle in the other. The headline read, 'Are you tired of getting folded hands kicked in your face?'

"When I realized that the performance enhancements that Papi and Manny took were, morally speaking, really no different than the cortisone shots that Curt took to enable him to pitch in the World Series, I decided to finally give ACE8 a try. And look at me now! The ACE8 steroid has turned a break-even weakling into a veritable chip-stacking machine!!!!"