Thom Forbes

It is, is it not, a question we have all asked ourselves at one time or another? We're sitting there with a hand that is pungent with prosperity. We're just itching to proclaim, "50 cents" (or, if we are of a perverse and unnatural nature, "up 45") because we know, just know, that our ship is not only about  to come in, it is stuffed to the gunwales with blue chips, red chips, white chips, loose dollar bills and the occasional Dutch guinea tossed in by Bobaloo, whose has a stash of them from his retail days in New Amsterdam. But then the dealer, usually Art, reminds us that there is a twist to the game that we had neglected to take into consideration. Maybe it's that the low is a 6. Maybe it's that all of the cards under the red chip will turn up black and all the cards under the black chip will turn up red, leaving us with an untenable K, A, 2, 3. Maybe it's the one game of the night Art belatedly calls nothing-wild Xoid instead of low-card-in-your-hand-is-wild-for-you Mexoid and your seemingly virile pair of deuces suddenly turn in a pair of limp-wristed, neo-con pointy heads. In the case that is about to unfold, as you will see, the surprise to one incredulous card player is that Woolworth has a spit. And the results are, predictably, disastrous.

Be sure to stay tuned for bonus footage of Mikey B.'s story about a fellow pensioner who challenges his buddies to a game of Texas Hold 'Em.